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Just imagine. You are relaxing on the comfiest cushions in the world. There are no problems in your life and your closest friend walks in. Surprisingly, they too are perfectly problem-free and you sit down to have a nice long chat together. You discuss all that is wonderful and fairy dust sprinkles itself over your magical little world.

What would you be really talking about?

It seems to me, problems, struggles, troubling issues and disagreements make up a significant portion of our daily conversations. Of course it is likely that many conversations do not include any of these things, but what if they were completely eliminated from all our conversations?

Conversations might get a little flat if, for instance, you couldn’t complain about the inconsistent weather reports by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology, or the horrid smell in the train carriage that had you ‘getting off at the next stop’ (secretly running to the doors of the next carriage).

Yes, we all complain about different things in our lives – but is it always a bad thing?

When you delve deeper into the issue, into more meaningful heartaches, head sores and anxieties, there is a greater issue at stake. Talking about light and fluffy frivolities and even the great joys of life, can be exciting, healthy and should be encouraged more often. Nevertheless, there is some merit in laying aside the happy for the more problematic issues that life throws our way. Take the blog www.mamamia.com.au for instance – many of the commenters find support through an online community that shares, discusses and argues (albeit vehemently at times) issues they face.

In ‘real life’, I would argue that bonds and connections between friends are especially deepened by the sharing of problems, and working through them or hopefully overcoming struggles. Even if it is the mere expression of a frustration, having that person next to you and nodding along can be reassuring and supportive.

Quite often, when we connect with someone, the sharing of problems (no matter how small or large) plays a role in the relationship.

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